I have been in Covington, Kentucky for the last week. Covington is right across the river from Cincinnati, Ohio. I don’t think I’ve ever been to a town that was once nice and is now so decrepit.
A week before I flew in, Rick told me that I probably don’t want to walk around town. I was thinking… yeah right! I’ll walk to breakfast/dinner if I want to. I flew in on the 30th of September and was very hungry by about 8pm. So I head downstairs from my hotel room to look for some grub.
My hotel was wrapped around a “White Castle”*. Yes, wrapped. So I walk around and I see every possible fast food place within spitting distance. So I walk back to the hotel and ask the manager where I can get “normal” food.
So he responds, “Sir, if you follow your nose, it will lead you to White Castle”
Me: “The slider?”, while staring at him
Him: “Yes sir! Try the Surf and Turf”
Me: Still staring and slightly lost for words. Not sure how to respond to Mr. Gut Of Steel.
Him: “Right across sir!”
Me: “I had a White Castle meal a few years back when I was in the mid west. I didn’t take a dump 3 days after that…”
Him: Staring and slightly lost for words. Not sure how to respond to Mr. Gut Of Papier Mache.
Me: “I’m serious man, I can’t eat that crap. I get all constipated. I’m not good when I’m constipated.”
Him: “Well sir, we also have McD…”
Me: “DON’T SAY IT”
Him: “Ummm…” Looks around nervously… “Well, how about Skyline Chili”
Me: “Gut wrenching, but it looks like Skyline is the best around. Ah well.”
Him: “Would you like a cookie?”
Me: “Does it have sprinkles?” I just wanted to mess with him.
Him: “Umm” Looks nervous… “Ummm… no?”
Me: “Wrong answer!”
Me: “Just kidding man. Sure, I’ll have a dozen cookies.”
*White Castle: This is the grungiest of fast food chains, the worst, smallest burger and the thinnest bit of mystery processed meat in between scummy buns. The whole thing tastes like damp cardboard with bad cheddar. Yum.